I do not know what God has in mind for me in the future but I am thankfull for the strength He has given me to carry all these on my shoulders and the wisdom to keep myself sane & functional all these while ...
I feel like a bulldozer - hence the title .. not just the size of it but all the other aspects of the machinery / vehicle .. I keep on bulldozing the obstacles / pain / misery because I simply do not have the luxury of time to ponder upon it & sob miserably .. I do cry, but hey a few seconds in the shower would do me good - rather than being a time bomb & explode suddenly, right?
So, the question is - what / why / how / where / when / who / which ... too many!!!
Where do I start, oh maybe the fact that I am 5 month & 3/4 pregnant which explains the comparison to the size of the bulldozer .. and I have NOT seen my gynae / doctor who is going to deliver the baby in HUKM yet? .. why? because of moolah / RM / bling bling ..
Next, my office - the people there simply despise me? Too strong a word - well, how would you feel if you are heavily pregnant & you have a baby of 1 yr + - among your English Dept colleague - you are the ONLY one who has 18 contact hours in a week with 340 students, with 2 different subjects that you have to share with other lecturers with one subject that has a FINAL EXAM, you have 3 days in which your class finishes at 7.20 PM then you have to rush fetching your baby from the nursery in a jammed packed AKLEH highway - just to reach home maybe at 9.30 - 10.00 PM THEN the next morning your class starts at 8.30 AM ... ??? That is just the tip of the iceberg ... there is simply lots & lots more ...
Other issues, too soon to talk about maternity leaves but hey, some people simply cannot resist the temptation to bring it up whenever they see my bloating tummy .. Not only I might be marking FINAL EXAM papers for 180 students of mine but I also need to key in their marks into the E-CITIE DURING my maternity leaves ... Yeay .. simply because my ever so wise English Dept colleagues just ignore the fact that I have told them so earlier .. And my MIL simply keep on repeating the super imposing suggestion that I should stay with her at Kota Damansara .. which means all the 4 of us, me, my new born baby, Athena & my hubby should relocate ourselves to her house .. instead of her, one person, solo relocate herself to my house in BTS .. stupendous, isn't it?
Sure wish I have MORE time to bable on but sorry folks, time's up .. see you when I see you.
Adios .. live life :)